1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody)

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This is dedicated to every author who ever suffered from anxiety or any other mental health issue.

Including me and Robert Blaise, author of 1% Lifesteal.

This is a parody and a fan-fiction of 1% Lifesteal.

The main character is not based on Robert Blaise. It's based on my own experience and mental health issues. It only shares a first name with him.

Robert Baker had a bad day that stretched into... his whole life?

He reached a massive and metaphorical roadblock in his writing career, his parents died, and now the corporate sharks want every penny the Bakers ever had to their name.

He needs an escape. He's going to get it.

This story makes reference to other Royal Road authors for entertainment purposes. The characters were inspired by them but do not represent the real-world person. Permission was granted to make such references in jest. No criticism of other authors is intended.

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Mdw
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28 d, 13 h ago Possibly stalled!
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  • 1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody)
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https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/81932/1-lifes-real-a-1-lifesteal-parody

Releases found: 142

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Series Releases:

Latest release - ch. 141.0
View Series Vol Chap Extra Group/Host
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 141 Time and Space: Handle with Care. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 140 A Hundred Parts Ye shall Mock, One part Audience Ye Shall Gain. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 139 B3 - Tournament, Day 3 RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 138 B3 - Tournament, Day 2, Afternoon / Evening RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 137 B3 - Tournament, Day 2, Morning RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 136 B3 - Void Hearted Boneheads RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 135 B3 - Tournament, day 1, afternoon. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 134 B3 - Fear the Boogie-Man's Deadly (dance) Moves RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 133 B3 - Moonlighting Equinox Duel RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 132 B3 - Concept Shopping RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 131 Spells and Abilities at the start of Book 3 RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 130 B3 - Holographic Massacre RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 129 B3 - I am Gurglock! RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 128 B3 - Enticing Proposals RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 127 B3 - Cleanup RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 126 B3 - The battle of Voidgore Hill RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 125 Serendipitous Encounters RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 125 [B3 Start] Serendipitous Encounters RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 124 Coworker Orientation Day RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 123 Have YOU Ever Felt Like a Duct Tape Mummy? RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 122 Psychotic Elimination Round! RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 121 Law and Order: Special Prime Vestiges Unit RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 120 Rise of the Volatile Pugilist RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 119 Specialty Shop Bingo RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 118 Look, Sir. If it's Made out of Paper and is not Nailed Down, We're Taking it. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 117 But what if we had Monsters at Home? RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 116 Home is Where the Monsters Won't Eat You RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 115 We are all John Rambo RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 114 Now Playing: America, F**k Yeah, by DADV. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 113 At least the Super Mario Sun didn't come down to wreck their day RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 112 IQ, Dropping to the Negatives RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 111 Avast, Ye Landlubbers! RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 110 Jacked to the Nines RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 109 What Happens in the Liminal Void Stays In the Liminal Void. Unless it Doesn't, then You're Doomed. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 108 Up the S**t Creek with no Paddle RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 107 No Way Home RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 106 A Lucrative Expedition RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 105 Bee One! With Yuri... I mean, Robert. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 104 Why is it that the Trip Back always feel shorter? RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 103 Congratulations, it's a fairy boi. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 102 What are you guys going to do in the nylon blanket pupa wrap-along thing? RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 101 Monkey Business RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 100 Do you want Eldritch Horrors? Go down the slippery slope of summoning stuff you shouldn't. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 99 Hey, is it a Plants versus Zom– Salamanders game now? RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 98 Hell Ain't a Bad Place. But This Isn't it. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 97 It's an All you Can Ether Buffet RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 96 DIY Artisanal Poison Jars! Save Millions of Dollars! RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 95 Interlude: Seeds of Unholy Rebirth RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 94 This Episode is CuRSeD. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 93 Crafting Enchantments Never Felt so Personal RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 92 Enchanting As Our Forefathers Did RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 91 Rise of The Lifting Forge RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 90 A Funeral for my Enemies RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 89 Warriors Aren't Born RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 88 I Can't Believe My Fantasy Adventure Teacher is Such a Showoff - Vacuum Bugaloo RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 87 Smugga Squatta Ugga! RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 86 The Depth of the Void RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 85 Millions! I mean, dozens. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 84 YES A CHAPTER: Disturbing content and phobia-inducing text. Reader caution advised. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 83 Now Playing: In the Sky RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 82 Meet Coal! RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 81 On the Ethics of Mind Control RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 80 Deceptively Lethal RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 79 Cabin Fever RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 78 Dive Deeper! Midas Touch if Your Gold is Wheat! RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 77 Is That a Jojo Reference? RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 76 Against the Dreaded Centifish RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 75 The Great Cave Grind RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 74 The Weapon of Your Soul RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 73 This is the Lewdest Chapter in the Whole Story. You've Been Warned. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 72 Try this New Mt. Pew Flavor: Victory that tastes like Defeat! RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 71 Emotional Damage RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 70 Nah, I'd win. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 69 If you Daydreamed in the Middle of a Dungeon, Would you Lose? RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 68 Magma Platform Camping RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 67 I Can't Believe My Fantasy Adventure Teacher is Such a Showoff - The Light Novel. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 66 Slimecide RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 65 The first Realm: Gravity Slime Caverns RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 64 Not Your Average Bouncy Poring RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 63 The Secrets of a Flowing River RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 62 Now playing: Turn Over a New Leaf RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 61 [BOOK 1 EPILOGUE] The Void Beckhams RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 60 Not a Chapter: Community Brainstorm: Robert's talent evolution. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 59 Appendix 1 - All abilities in order of appearance RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 58 Dead Man Walking RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 57 The Battle of Dripping Honeycomb RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 56 Red Sus RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 55 No (food) for you, Robert RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 54 The dogpile you wished your dog was dogpiled in RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 53 It's a Dog speaks Dog World RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 52 Lecture #000 - The Planning Meeting RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 51 Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Gwe'en Shul'ker wgah'nagl fhtagn RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 50 Verb - trout slap - (Internet slang) To Strongly or Humorously Rebuke or Humiliate - Dial it to 11 RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 49 What if the Taulusian Were One of Us RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 48 What Could Possibly Go Wrong? (Featuring a Special Guest) RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 47 Freddy Stern is a Butterfly from Hell RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 46 We are Lick Bros Now! RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 45 This is Why Pokemon Games Have no Forbidden Magic RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 44 Are you sure you want THAT as your pet? RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 43 All the Water Under the Bridge RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 42-2 Robert and Freddy's Day Off, part 2 of 2 RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 41-1 Robert and Freddy's Day Off, part 1 of 2 RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 40 There's a hundred and four days of summer vacation / And school comes along just to end it RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 39 Sugar Imouto RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 38 Now Playing: I'm (not) a Believer by Smash Mouth RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 37 Lift the Curtain and Gaze upon the Might Oz at your own Peril, Dorothy RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 36-2 Click Here to Find Single Great-Grandmother CEOs in your Area! Part 2 of 2 RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 35-1 Click Here to Find Single Great-Grandmother CEOs in your Area! Part 1 of 2 RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 34 The path home is paved with murder RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 33-3 Cultist of Cerebelon, part 3 of 3 RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 32-2 Cultist of Cerebelon, part 2 of 3 RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 31-1 Cultist of Cerebelon, part 1 of 3 RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 30 Explorers of the Vacuum Realm RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 29 Farming! Best farming! Supreme farming! Your crops do better! RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 28 Saving Eight Hours of Reality, Every Day RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 27 You're living in your own, Private Blaze RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 26-2 Railroaded Shopping Spree, part 2 of 2 RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 25-1 Railroaded Shopping Spree, part 1 of 2. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 24 All Corporations and Clans, they are Equally Awful RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 23 [Rapping] Talk to Corporate.... Like a Boss RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 22 Q: Guess What we'll Have for Dinner? RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 21 Fifteen Body Bags RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 20 Man, I Love Recursion RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 19 Liminal Fools. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 18 Call of the Void - Legendary card. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 17 Voidissal Assassin Roberth RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 16 This chapter was delayed by a couple of hours because I binged another story. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 15 Oh, I got those references! RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 14 Fait Accompli RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 13 Welcome to the Jungle RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 12 Hi, hello there! I'm the Archstronaut. I'm talking to you from Archspace... RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 11 Liminal Captives RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 10 Friendship is Tragic RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 9 Surprise Job Interview RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 8 Liminal Hobo RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 7 Everything Is Freddy's Fault. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 6 It seems these days even the most bare necessities cost $500. RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 5 Liminal Training Montage RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 4 Five Hundred Dollars???? RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 3 Liminal Guest RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 2 1% Irl RoyalRoadL
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody) 1 Robert's Bad Day RoyalRoadL