This is my first story, any feedback at all will be greatly appreciated, thanks!

This story is about a girl in a VRMMO. Nothing fancy. Nothing sane. You know, the usual crazy author, making the usual crazy story that makes no sense. Oh, I also wanna try getting your feedback, and help a little with ideas, making the story more interesting and the like. Anyways, it is a completely normal story. Nothing insane at all.