WARNING: AUTHOR IS A SERIOUS PROCRASTINATOR AND HAS BEEN KNOWN TO DO UNEXPLAINED AND INEXCUSABLE HIATUSES MULTIPLE TIMES. IF THAT IS ACCEPTABLE THEN KEEP ON READING.

Zachary Morgan. His name was hardly the most eccentric thing about him. He was a delinquent, a low-level street merchant and a self-declared businessman, selling whatever his clientele of thugs and hooligans asked of him, be it computers of dubious origins, cheap jewelry to satisfy their vanity or improvised weapons. It was a petty life, guided by greed and desire for the next outrageously expansive sale rather than any real ambition for his future. He was content in his relative wealth, living each day as a new opportunity for shamelessly scamming people and being smug.

He was happy. He was satisfied. He was semi-officially declared the shadiest man on the west coast of America.

And then mysterious forces behind his comprehension ripped him apart from his throne of illegally imported Asian products and threw him into a world of sword and sorcery, beasts and men, full of many different races, cultures and Lawful Stupid Paladins. So many Paladins.

Watch him as he struggles his way to victory in this land of dangers and monsters, as he is hunted down by Templars, Angels, Saints, Heroes and Inquisitors, every single one of them with an excessive interest in the art of severely maiming people. All for the greatest prize of all:

A safe retirement plan.

P.S: This story, while mainly taking place in the fantasy world, will also have a serious focus on the life the MC had on Earth. There will be flashbacks and things that happened there may affect our dear protagonist in his adventures. I know this can annoy some people so this is a warning. Also, while I plan to have a comedic tone throughout the story, very dark themes will be explored and there will be many instances of gore and violence. If this disturbs you, then read on with care. Lastly and most importantly, reread the warning at the top of the description. I AM AMAZING AT PROCRASTINATION. I HAVE ABANDONED TWO FICS AND WENT ON HIATUS THREE TIMES, TWO TIMES FOR THIS VERY STORY, WHICH I AM NOW REWRITING. While I like creating worlds, my laziness and lack of drive will often cause my downfall. I don't intend to abandon this story, but this is a promise I have broken too many times for you to take me on my word.

P.S.S. The image of the cover does not belong to me, not sure where I got it from, I simply thought it looked nice and modified it accordingly. If the author were to ask me to remove it, I will do it immediately.

CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM IS VEEEEEEEEERY WELCOME.