Welcome to the LICH'S LAIR, an action-packed hack and slash like you've NEVER EXPERIENCED BEFORE! Take on the role of the brave hero [ENTER CHARACTER NAME HERE] and make your way through endless hours of procedurally-generated, highly replayable content! A flexible class system and fluid, fun combat make this one adventure you won't soon forget. But combat's not everything - we've got systems galore! You want to date hot companions? You want multiplayer? We got it! You want to date a monster? You do, don't you, you sick freak. You can do that too! You want crafting systems? We've got so many potions and so much craftable equipment that it will make you absolutely sick, you complete toxic waste dump of a human being. Guided by the helpful fairy Annabelle, [ENTER WORTHLESS NOTHING'S NAME HERE] will make his way through countless rooms of THE LICH'S LAIR to win his freedom. Just stop crying. Stop crying and screaming for two seconds. God, you're so pathetic. You know what? THIS IS WHY YOU DESERVE THIS.

Author's note: This is something I'm doing purely for fun. I make no promises about update schedule or anything; I'm writing this pretty much completely on a whim. If you're familiar with my other work, this is something quite different.