Hey you,

Yes you, the reader!

Are you tired of your boring and miserable life?

Want to just let go and escape from it all?

Do we have the perfect game for you! It's far better than actually living! No joke!

Can't find a date?

Future, looking too bleak?

Then hop right in. All the hot men and ladies are waiting just for you.

Too young for that?

No worries, we have plenty of the tastiest candy you've ever tried, just waiting for you! Parental supervision is not suggested.

Let's give Mom and Dad a big surprise!

Interested? Hold on for just a bit. You need this neural implant chip, free of charge of course. We inject it beneath the skin on the nape of your neck.

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There you go! Now it's connected to that noggin of yours. Isn't that wonderful? Take the game wherever you go!

Want it removed? Sure thing! That will just be $10,000 Smackeroos!

Don't have that kind of cash? Well, we now accept kidney donations! And facilities are coming close to a neighborhood near you.

Now, why don't you forget about all that? Just relax, and let go of reality. Food? Water? Shelter? Those basic needs your cavemen parents craved? It's not needed here!

So just let it all go. Here at Psycorp, we got you covered.

Enjoy, player!

—

Side effects may include but are not limited to:

Loss of reality, loss of memories, loss of personality, loss of bodily functions, loss of kidneys, and loss of life.

P.O.I. does not assume any responsibility but is entitled to everything, including but not limited to you and your loved ones.