Just kill all the cultivators!

Wait, wait, let me start from the beginning.

Ahem.

So, you probably get the gist of things by now. The role of the omnipotent heavens is to sit there dull and pretty as cultivators abscond with its goods, a pretty young thing whose attempts to fight back lead to minor tribulations - scuffles, really - that most survive. Talented cultivators battle for fate and subvert the heavens in their eternal quest for immortality. Yada yada yada.

Picture this, then. Picture your damned self as the heavens. Wouldn't that be frustrating? Every being living beneath the umbrella of your protection, of your blessings, all seeking to steal from you like spoiled kids that won't listen to a firm 'No.'? They fight amongst themselves and only bow their head and ask for your blessings when they know they're about to do the wrong thing, to evoke your punishment...

You'd be pretty upset, right?

So what about this. Picture yourself doing your thing. You're the heavens, you're chilling, people are stealing your very essence and fighting and robbing and evoking your anger and whatnot, and then you see this complete and utter idiot.

Zhu. A real one. A real incompetent fool, that is. He nearly went against the heavens just by living to see his twenties. Best thing about him?

He's completely talentless. Cultivation? Impossible. Has he tried? Hell yeah he has, just like every other prick. Did it work? Nope! Did he give up? Hell yes he did! What a great little minion. Love that for him.

And that's when it occurs to you. The mighty, absolutely intelligent heavens. Heavens, you are incredible!

Everyone you know is a cultivator. Their mother, uncle, dog, hell - even that pile of poop over there is on its way to immortality.

So why don't you cultivate an immortal? One whose sole purpose is to rid your lovely realm of the rest of the brats stealing from you every waking moment of every god damned day - you hadn't slept in so damn long that you don't even know if you ever could!

Great idea, Heaven. 9/10.

System/LitRPG/CultivationLite