This Synopsis Involves Limited Spoilers and Mockery of Spoilers

The Troll's Bridge Tavern is a satirical black comedy fantasy novel written to spite the fantasy genre while celebrating its absurdity. Its author is an unreliable drunk ski bum who begs attention so that he can finally make his abusive mother proud. Happy reading!

Fantasy novels suck. In this one, a hobbit named Hildago tries to write his literary masterpiece; his quest for adventure depends upon finding that perfect group of questing adventurers which will find him riches, success, fame, and ultimately material for his great epic to solidify him in the annals of Hobbit literature.

This first-draft novel-in-the-making is a constantly updated, expanding saga of satire on the fantasy, gaming, D&D, Tolkein, Rawling, and Dragonlance worlds of banal fantasy fiction with a literary twist written by an untrustworthy, jaded college drop out author who constantly interferes with the plot (is he/she another character?)

Can you trust Hildago? Probably not, because he will probably die (or will he?) Should you root for the drunken Archmage Silas, the man responsible for the Cataclysm? Or his tinkering gnomish butler, Rufus, the man who can make you a perfect martini; but resents his engineering background, and wishes Fate had not cursed him with science rather than magic? How about Severn, the dashing steampunk airship pilot who may or may not appear in this story? If you need your stories to have a Sapphic twist, Sigrid the Amazon might tickle your interest.